Where is the family gathering for the holidays?
Should I offer my home as an option?
Will he/she be there?
Do I bring a dish or a dessert? Should I make it or buy it?
Who do I get presents for? What do they want?
Will I have time to do everything that needs to be done?
Are my finances looking okay?
Is my family enjoying the holidays?
Will this be a memorable holiday season?
Why can’t I move on from past holidays?
Will I be able to make it through the holidays without him/her?
If seeing all those questions doesn’t make your head and heart hurt when thinking about them, you might already be zoned out in holiday season shock. The holidays are one of the busiest times of year for the mind, body, and spirit, presenting a dizzying array of demands — parties, shopping, baking, cleaning, and entertaining, to name just a few.
As we rush around physically and mentally, many people find themselves overwhelmed with the strain of holiday stress. This perfectly natural and typical reaction to the holiday season can seem highly debilitating at times and greatly affect mental health. The encouraging news is you can convert that strain into something useful: good stress.
How do we know we are stressed?
It’s pretty easy to see why we tend to think of the holiday season as stressful. Certain types of situations tell our brain and body to step into action. There are three stages of stress. The first stage, Alarm, is better known as flight or fright. Our body gifts us with the chemicals needed for energy and concentration to solve what causes us distress. The usual clues we are in Alarm include:
● Rapid breathing
● Pounding heart rate
● Muscle tension and
● Nausea or a distinct metal taste.
Spending time fretting and worrying over what to do or how to respond at a family event may only move you into the second and third stages of stress, Resistance and Exhaustion.
[Extra Info: Stress symptoms: Effects on Your Body and Behavior]
What are the signs of “bad” stress?
Resistance, or “bad” stress, is when the body is likely to build a tolerance for living in distress and begin causing various physical, emotional, and relational health problems, like frequent illness, isolation, and irritability.
Exhaustion is the final stage of “bad” stress. It means you have been living under too much stress for too long without relief. A sense of hopelessness to even want to go to certain holiday events is overwhelming and very frustrating. Health problems at this stage will likely mean you need to seek the assistance of medical and mental health professionals.
[Extra Info: I’m So Stressed Out! Fact Sheet]
Is there really such a thing as “good” stress?
Yes, there is actually “good” stress, plus it benefits us, too! The overarching benefits of good stress come from feeling hopeful and successful. This happens when we identify what is meaningful about the holiday event. Then we add good, healthier, and happier years to our life.
What are some tips to help relieve “bad” stress and experience more “good” stress?
Most tips we have in psychology relieve the physiological effects of distress and then address the situation itself. The tips decrease the release of cortisol and adrenaline and increase the release of dopamine and oxytocin. Tips focus on common sense, perspective, and mindfulness.
☑ Task. Break. Repeat.
☑ Prioritize.
☑ Find meaning.
☑ Live. Love. Laugh.
☑ Stay connected.
☑ Lower sugar, fats, and starches.
☑ Switch to green teas and decaffeinated drinks.
☑ Balance and moderation.
☑ Play.
☑ Be mindful.
What should you do if you have trouble resolving those situations that cause you to stress?
If you feel especially challenged by your holiday stress this season, marriage and family therapists are a great resource to support healthier and happier gatherings with families because our specialty is finding the meaning of connecting with others.
What else should you know about holiday stress?
Watch family and marriage therapist Susan Harrington, founder of Maison Vie, discuss three stages of stress — good stress, bad stress, and exhaustion — and how you can use them to your mental health’s benefit this holiday season. You can also contact Maison Vie to see how Susan can help guide you through counseling sessions.
