Good friends can do more than make life more enjoyable.
They can be good for your mental health, too.
The people we surround ourselves with can affect how supported, connected, and even stressed we feel. Healthy friendships give us somewhere to celebrate the good days, work through the hard ones, and occasionally send a text that says, “Am I overthinking this?” to someone who already knows the answer.
Susan Harrington, therapist and founder of Maison Vie Therapy & Counseling, recently joined KLFY-TV to talk about the importance of healthy friendships and how to recognize when a friendship may be doing more harm than good.
Watch the interview below for practical ways to build healthier, more supportive friendships.
Why Are Healthy Friendships So Important?
A good friendship is more powerful than we sometimes give it credit for.
Research into the science of friendship continues to show just how important our social connections can be for our health and well-being.
Supportive social connections have been associated with greater life satisfaction, a stronger sense of belonging and purpose, lower stress, and greater confidence and self-worth. Healthy friendships can also provide motivation and encouragement to take better care of ourselves.
But there is an important word in all of this: healthy.
What Does a Healthy Friendship Look Like?
One of the most important parts of a healthy friendship is reciprocity. Both people participate in supporting, celebrating, listening, and simply being there for each other.
That doesn’t mean friendship is always 50/50. Life happens. One friend may need more support while grieving, going through a divorce, welcoming a baby, changing jobs, or dealing with another major life event. Healthy friendships have room for that natural give and take.
Over time, though, there should be mutual kindness, respect, trust, care, and effort.
Important to remember: A healthy friendship doesn’t have to be perfectly equal every day. Sometimes one person needs more support than the other. What matters is that, over time, the relationship feels mutual, supportive, and reciprocal.
When Is a Friendship Hurting More Than Helping?
One bad day or awkward conversation doesn’t make someone a bad friend. Patterns matter more.
Watch for repeated behaviors such as:
- Subtle dismissive comments
- Boundary crossings
- Quid pro quo expectations, where favors seem to come with strings attached
- Gossip or judgment of others
- Criticism directed at you
- Jealousy or competitiveness
At the same time, pay attention to how the friendship regularly makes you feel:
- Uncomfortable
- Emotionally unsafe
- Drained
Look for patterns, not perfection: One bad day, disagreement, or awkward conversation doesn’t make someone a bad friend. But if you repeatedly leave interactions feeling unheard, uncomfortable, emotionally unsafe, or drained, it may be worth taking a closer look at the relationship.
If that sounds familiar, ask yourself two honest questions:
Am I over-giving and allowing myself to be taken advantage of?
Or am I the friend whose behavior may be causing some of the hurt?
Neither question is particularly comfortable. Both can be useful.
How Do We Build and Keep Good Friendships?
Relationships aren’t magic. They take intentional, consistent effort.
Reach out. Check in. Reconnect with an old friend. Accept an invitation. Volunteer, attend community events, or make connections through people you already know.
And if you’re trying to make a new friend? Sometimes it really does begin with something as simple as saying, “Hi.”
Good friendships take effort, but the connection, support, laughter, and sense of belonging they can bring into our lives make that effort well worth it.
Healthy relationships are worth the effort
Good friendships don’t have to be perfect. There will be misunderstandings, missed calls, busy seasons, and times when one person needs a little more from the other. What matters is the overall pattern of the relationship.
Healthy friendships should leave room for you to feel heard, respected, supported, and able to be yourself. And sometimes, strengthening our relationships starts with taking an honest look at our own patterns, boundaries, and needs.
If relationships in your life are leaving you feeling consistently overwhelmed, unsupported, or drained, talking with a therapist can help you better understand what’s happening and decide what healthier connection can look like for you.
Relationships are a big part of our mental health. When something doesn’t feel right, you don’t have to sort through it by yourself.
Susan Harrington and Sheryl Ford work with individuals and relationships across Louisiana, helping people better understand difficult patterns, strengthen boundaries, work through past experiences, and build healthier connections.
Whether you’re working through a difficult relationship or simply want to better understand yourself and the connections in your life, we’re here to help.
Related resources: Learn more about how friendships can enrich your life and improve your health from Mayo Clinic, or explore therapy and counseling services at Maison Vie Therapy & Counseling.
